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It's not my fault I fell for him, he's the one who tripped me

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12th April 2009

3:10 pm: Easter
Greatest Easter Post EVER

http://sirthinkalot.livejournal.com/11574.html



now 19 weeks and 2 day :) Almost half way there!
Current Mood: sleepy

23rd August 2008

12:19 pm: Why Chocolate is better than a Man (according to aphrodisiology.com)
* A Good chocolate bar is not hard to find.
* A bar of chocolate doesn’t bore you by constantly talking about sports.
* A chocolate penis won't make you pregnant.
* A large piece of chocolate lasts longer, but even a small morsel is satisfying.
* After telling your chocolate bar all your worries you can simply eat it.
* Chocolate accommodates your schedule. It's easy to GET chocolate any time you want!!!
* Chocolate won't complain if you take it shopping for shoes.
* Chocolate can satisfy you even if it's gone soft.
* Chocolate is just as attractive when you're sober.
* Chocolate is not afraid of the word "commitment"
* Chocolate might make a mess in your bed if you let it, but it won't make you sleep on a wet spot.
* Chocolate will never ask you to wear a wig and scream "Who's your Daddy?"
* Chocolate won't clean the bathroom, but it won't pee on the rim and forget to lower the seat.
* Chocolate won't fall asleep immediately afterwards.
* Chocolate won't take the remote control away from you, lose it, and blame it on you.
* Even if you have to pay for your chocolate, it's affordable.
* "If you love me, you'll swallow" has real meaning with chocolate.
* If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
* No matter what kind of chocolate you like, it's legal.
* No one has ever been jilted by a chocolate bon-bon.
* Nobody gossips about who you had chocolate with.
* There's no shame in admitting you have chocolate on your own.
* When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
* With a chocolate truffle, there's no need to fake it.
* With chocolate, size doesn't matter.
* You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
* You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle. Chocolate is never jealous.
* You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
* You can have chocolate in front of your parents. Your Mother will never dissaprove of your taste in chocolates.
* You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
* You can have chocolate while you are driving without being irresponsible
* You can have chocolate with a whole group of friends without being obscene.
* You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
* You can share chocolates with your best friend.
* Chocolate rarely disappoints a woman!
Current Mood: amused

26th August 2007

4:49 pm: Would you....
1. Give me your number?
2. Have sex with me?
3. Let me kiss you?
4. Watch a movie with me...even a really sappy one or one involving war?
5. Let me take you out to dinner?
6. Drive me somewhere/anywhere?
7. Take a shower with me?
8. Be my bf/gf?
9. Have a fling with me?
10. Listen to me if I called you crying even if you were out with all of your friends?
11. Buy me a drink if i didnt have money?
12. Take me home for the night?
13. Would you let me sleep in your bed?
14. Sing car kareoke w/ me?
15. Sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone?
16. kill me?
17. Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere?
18. Do you think im pretty, beautiful, or hot?
19. Do you like my style?
20. Do you think im funny?
21. Do you care about me?
22. Would you cry if i died?
23. Would you stop me if i tried to commit suicide?
24. Would you dance with me?
25. Would you sing happy birthday to me?
26. Would you help me at a party as im throwing up due to intoxication?
Current Mood: tired

27th December 2006

11:23 am: My response to Patrick. I liked it enough to post it solo.
you make sense bro. I myself am very guilty of said stupidity. And yes it's stupid. Because you can hope you'll be enough, and they'll love you and not cheat on you again or whatever. But it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. One person can not love and want it enough for both people. It just doesn't work that way. And people who cheat or whatever the problem is (if they keep cheating) it's most likely because either the other person waits around, and lets it happen, and will take them back regardless OR because they just don't care about the person their with enough to be faithful. I can't say for sure, I've not cheated on anyone. Somewhere out there are nice guys ( you are one... i think :P) who are looking at it going wtf? but again, it seems nobody to very few people actually wants to be with the nice girl. Because that would mean a relationship, where as the bad girls are quick fixes. *See "To Nice Girls - The sad truth" I don't feel like saying the gist all over again*

As for the giving to someone you've never met, you can know someone for years, and never actually know them at all.

"Sure, the heart isn't logical, but at least you would think that the God's would involve a little common sense to keep the whole world going to depression over love." But love a cruel-hearted bitch of a mistress. As I told you the other day :)

Point of long ramble: You are correct. It is prolly very stupid (definently in my case I should think)

That's all.


--------

Everything has a price.

Nice Girls the sad truth::
1. "the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys."

2. "Men sit and question (why) girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging.

Yet, men, I ask you: if were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, would you give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for (her)?"

And the conditioning::
1. "girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with, the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. For the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. Who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you."

Side note::
1. "For the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep.

----
that's all, I cut out sentences here and there, to get to the point, but there's my view.
Current Mood: thoughtful

23rd December 2006

9:10 am: Suteki Da ne
kaze ga yoseta kotoba ni
oyoida kokoro
kumo ga hakobu ashita ni
hazunda koe

tsuki ga yureru kagami ni
furueta kokoro
hoshi ga nagare
koboreta yawarakai namida

suteki da ne
futari te wo tori aruketa nara
ikitai yo
KIMI no machi ie ude no naka

sono mune
karada azuke
yoi ni magire
yumemiru

kaze wa tomari kotoba wa
yasashii maboroshi
kumo wa yabure ashita wa
tooku no koe

tsuki ga nijimu kagami wo
nagareta kokoro
hoshi ga yurete koboreta
kakusenai namida

suteki da ne
futari te wo tori aruketa nara
ikitai yo
KIMI no machi ie ude no naka

sono kao
sotto furete
asa ni tokeru
yumemiru
Current Mood: sick

20th December 2006

12:01 pm: A Soldier's Silent NightCollapse )
Current Mood: crushed

18th December 2006

9:19 am: OMG
2 days!!! omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!

Breathe.

omfg!

I think my heart's taken up permanant residence in my throat!

Just 2 more days.





God, I'm so excited.</div>

Current Mood: anxious / nervous / scared / ?

19th November 2006

10:03 pm: *hearts*
Happy 20th Birthday to me!

I get to talk to Joshie more now. *hearts* I can't wait til he comes home. I'm so excited about getting family portraits done. That's gonna be the second best present ever. The first will be (of course) seeing him with our son. Taking care of him and holding him. Getting to share the moments I've had for the last month, 5 days, 22 hours and 3 minutes.

He told me last night he didn't think he'd wanted children. Up until he got the pictures of Joshua. I told him that he would melt his heart, and I was right. And Josh was right, I am a good mom, and I really love being a mother. Though we both agree next time, we have to try for a girl. Which is fine, I decided I want more babies. Possibly several. At lest 2 or 3...

*hearts*

AND he dedicated "With Arms Wide Open " to me and Joshua. I cried. *hearts*

And I bought this really pretty dress. It's a summer dress. It's cream, with purple and pink-ish purle flower designs. It was destiny. Iwas thinking about paint me a birminham. Then spur of the moment Sudran decides to go into Bealls for shirts. They're having a huge sale, and on a not on sale rack is the dress. I instantly fell in love. So I looked at the price, and it was $10. I didn't have that much left from my birthday. Then I noticed a little sticker. It was 60% off. I had just enough to buy it. So I tried it on, it fit perfectly. So I bought it. Sudran says it makes me look like a girl. (Mind you I'd been wearing my bondage skirt, new sexy boots and a top. One of her least favourite outfit of mine.)

Je suis sa fille, et il est le mein. Por toujours. La fin.
Current Mood: happy

13th November 2006

8:35 am: to nice girls - the sad truth
To the nice girls who are overlooked, who become friends and nothing more, who spend hours fixating upon their looks and their personalities and their actions because it must be they that are doing something wrong. This is for the girls who don't give it up on the first date, who don't want to play mind games, who provide a comforting hug and a supportive audience for a story they've heard a thousand times. This is for the girls who understand that they aren't perfect and that the guys they're interested in aren't either, for the girls who flirt and laugh and worry and obsess over the slightest glance, whisper, touch, because somehow they are able to keep alive that hope that maybe... maybe this time he'll have understood. This is homage to the girls who laugh loud and often, who are comfortable in skirts and sweats and combat boots, who care more than they should for guys who don't deserve their attention. This is for those girls who have been in the trenches, who have watched other girls time and time again fake up and make up and screw up the guys in their lives without saying a word. This is for the girls who have been there from the beginning and have heard the trite words of advice, from "there are plenty of fish in the sea," to "time heals all wounds." This is to honor those girls who know that guys are just as scared as they are, who know that they deserve better, who are seeking to find it.

This is for the girls who have never been in love, but know that it's an experience that they don't want to miss out on. For the girls who have sought a night with friends and been greeted by a night of catcalling, rude comments and explicit invitations that they'd rather not have experienced. This is for the girls who have spent their weekends sitting on the sidelines of a beer pong tournament or a case race, or playing Florence Nightingale for a vomiting guy friend or a comatose crush, who have received a drunk phone call just before dawn from someone who doesn't care enough to invite them over but is still willing to pass out in their bed. This is for the girls who have left sad song lyrics in their away messages, who have tried to make someone understand through a subliminally appealing profile, who have time and time again dropped their male friend hint after hint after hint only to watch him chase after the first blonde girl in a skirt. This is for the girls who have been told that they're too good or too smart or too pretty, who have been given compliments as a way of breaking off a relationship, who have ever been told they are only wanted as a friend.

This one's for the girls who you can take home to mom, but won't because it's easier to sleep with a whore than foster a relationship; this is for the girls who have been led on by words and kisses and touches, all of which were either only true for the moment, or never real to begin with. This is for the girls who have allowed a guy into their head and heart and bed, only to discover that he's just not ready, he's just not over her, he's just not looking to be tied down; this is for the girls who believe the excuses because it's easier to believe that it's not that they don't want you, it's that they don't want anyone. This is for the girls who have had their hearts broken and their hopes dashed by someone too cavalier to have cared in the first place; this is for the nights spent dissecting every word and syllable and inflection in his speech, for the nights when you've returned home alone, for the nights when you've seen from across the room him leaning a little too close, or standing a little too near, or talking a little too softly for the girl he's with to be a random hookup. This is for the girls who have endured party after party in his presence, finally having realized that it wasn't that he didn't want a relationship: it was that he didn't want you. I honor you for the night his dog died or his grandmother died or his little brother crashed his car and you held him, thinking that if you only comforted him just right, or said the right words, or rubbed his back in the right way then perhaps he'd realize what it was that he already had. This is for the night you realized that it would never happen, and the sunrise you saw the next morning after failing to sleep.

This is for the "I really like you, so let's still be friends" comment after you read more into a situation than he ever intended; this is for never realizing that when you choose friends, you seldom choose those which make you cry yourself to sleep. This is for the hugs you've received from your female friends, for the nights they've reassured you that you are beautiful and intelligent and amazing and loyal and truly worthy of a great guy; this is for the despair you felt as you sat in the aftermath of your tears, knowing that that night the only companionship you'd have was with a pillow and your teddy bear. This is for the girls who have been used and abused, who have endured what he was giving because at least he was giving something; this is for the stupidity of the nights we've believed that something was better than nothing, though his something was nothing we'd have ever wanted. This is for the girls who have been satisfied with too little and who have learned never to expect anything more: for the girls who don't think that they deserve more, because they've been conditioned for so long to accept the scraps thrown to them by guys.

This is what I don't understand.

Men sit and question and whine that girls are only attracted to the mean guys, the guys who berate them and belittle them and don't appreciate them and don't want them; who use them for sex and think of little else than where their next conquest will be made. Men complain that they never meet nice girls, girls who are genuinely interested and compelling, who are intelligent and sweet and smart and beautiful; men despair that no good women want to share in their lives, that girls play mind games, that girls love to keep them hanging.

Yet, men, I ask you: if were you to meet one of these genuinely interested, thrillingly compelling, interesting and intelligent and sweet and beautiful and smart girls, would you give her your number and wait for her to call... and if you were to receive a call from her the next day and she, in her truthful, loyal, intelligent and straightforward nice girl fashion, were to tell you that she finds you intriguing and attractive and interesting and worth her time and perhaps material from which she could fashion a boyfriend, would you or would you not immediately call your friends to tell them of the "stalker chick" you'd met the night prior, who called you and wore her heart on her sleeve and told the truth? And would you, or would you not, refuse to make plans with her, speak with her, see her again, and once again return to the bar or club or party scene and search once more for this "nice girl" who you just cannot seem to find?

Because therein lies the truth, guys: we nice girls are everywhere. But you're not looking for a nice girl. You're not looking for someone genuinely interested in your intermural basketball game, or your anatomy midterm grade, or that argument you keep having with your father; you're looking for a quick fix, a night when you can pretend to have a connection with another human being which is just as disposable as the condom you were using during it.

So don't say you're on the lookout for nice girls, guys, when you pass us up on every step you take. Sometimes we go undercover; sometimes we go in disguise: sometimes when that girl in the low cut shirt or the too tight miniskirt won't answer your catcalls, sometimes you're looking at a nice girl in whore's clothing - - we might say we like the attention, we might blush and giggle and turn back to our friends, but we're all thinking the same thing: "This isn't me. Tomorrow morning, I'll be wearing a teeshirt and flannel shorts, I'll have slept alone and I'll be making my hungover best friend breakfast. See through the disguise. See me." You never do. Why? Because you only see the exterior, you only see the slutty girl who welcomes those advances. You don't want the nice girl.. so don't say you're looking for a relationship: relationships take time and energy and intent, three things we're willing to extend - - but in return, we're looking for compassion and loyalty and trust, three things you never seem willing to express.

Maybe nice guys finish last, but in the race they're running they're chasing after the whores and the sluts and the easy-targets
... the nice girls are waiting at the finish line with water and towels and a congradulatory hug (and yes, if she's a nice girl and she likes you, the sweatiness probably won't matter), hoping against hope that maybe you'll realize that they're the ones that you want at the end of that silly race.

So maybe it won't last forever. Maybe some of those guys in that race will turn in their running shoes and make their way to the concession stand where we're waiting; however, until that happens, we still have each other, that silly race to watch, and all the chocolate we can eat (because what's a concession stand at a race without some chocolate?)


---------------------------------

Editted 12.27.06

italics or bold are points.
bold underlined are kinda the explanation.
Current Mood: heartbroken

7th November 2006

12:28 pm: oh. my. god.
Livejournal has a T-shirt!!!!!!!!!!
Current Mood: amused

27th July 2006

9:31 am: Emo
Artist: Dido
Song: White Flag

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you
I'll tell you that
But if I didn't say it
Well, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess
And destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "It's over"
Then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
As I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
Current Mood: depressed

9th May 2006

10:32 pm: Female Code
((Work in progress))

1. You do not date your best friends ex, unless you dated them first.

2. You do not date your ex's best friend.

3. You do not "test" a suspectedly unfaithful significant others, as it can be turned around on you, and you will be to blame, for you are not in the relationship [exception - if they ask you to].

4. You do not date your friends boyfriend, or your boyfriends friend.

5. You do not hit on, try to sleep, OR sleep with your friends boyfriend.


These are just some simple rules. I post this because I've had too many "friends" break them. Tell me of these are that hard to follow, cuz I don't think they are.
Current Mood: annoyed

1st February 2006

8:00 pm: Friends


This journal is for my dearest of friends only.
Current Mood: happy
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